Data Recovery Communication

The following is a e-mail with a vendor:

VENDOR: Thank you for choosing us for your data recovery needs. Unfortunately we have not been successful in performing a recovery for you. There is just too much damage for us to get any type of reading from the media. Please know that every effort has been made in attempting to retrieve your data. It is very disappointing for us to be unable to achieve our goal in getting you the data that you requested. If we can be of any other service please do not hesitate to ask. If needed, please let us know how you would like us to get the media back to you.

ME: Yikes. Um, I guess just toss it. I'll go jump off a cliff.

VENDOR: Oh my god – please don’t! I’m so sorry we could not get this done for you.

ME: Sorry. I'm sort of a sarcastic guy. I'm heartbroken, but I'll survive. Thank you for your concern. : )

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Software Support

Okay, so you've probably seen this one on the Internet. It was just too good for us to pass up, though.

Actual dialog of a fired WordPerfect Customer Support employee:

Tech: "Hello, How may I help you?"

Cust: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

Tech: "What sort of trouble?"

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Webcam

A customer of was having bandwidth issues for nearly two weeks when he called us. After monitoring the line and making sure the ISP and firewall were good, we still couldn't find where the leak was coming from.

After some internal investigation, the customer dropped us a quick e-mail. Apparently, the sales staff had started watching a webcam of an African watering hole around the same time everyday.

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Corn on the cob

The following is an e-mail conversation with a customer:

CUSTOMER: Just another note: this server crashes all the time. It’s very unstable. I’ll be working and it’ll just go down and this happens a lot.

ME: There’s a new kernel. I’ll reboot it right now. I haven’t gotten any other reports, but I will put a monitor on it…

CUSTOMER: I don’t know what the association with corn is but if it helps then that’s a good thing. ;o)

ME: Hehe. The kernel is the core of any operating system…

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